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March 30 WildnessSunday, caught by a lazy bug and do not want to do anything. After some cooking, I went to the park nearby. All the gardeners are talking about the early arrival of spring. Maybe. But in my memory down in Shanghai, it is always warm and flowery by this time of the year. Hempstead Heath might has seen muddier days than today, but it is my first time to get my shoes that dirty. Down in the woods, I started a dialog with trees. Surprised to see the wildness there. In the centre of London, yet surrounded by no one, but many a dozen hundred years old trees. Wildness is great. I am happy about the move from the riverside to the trees. Pity that I did not have a tree house ever. Maybe a topic to dream about tonight. However, one thing I do not understand is how much I prefer to enjoy something great alone. Stockholm trip is a disaster, but it is also an exception. Most of the time, I enjoy travel alone. Not on purpose of course, but merely left with no other choice. But when I have to go alone, I do try my best to enjoy the every minute of it. Galleries, museums, concerts, operas, old town markets and book shops are always interesting for single travellers. With my economic power on the rise, I can even enjoy meals in decent restaurant. But restaurant is always a bit awkward for me to eat alone. Only occasionally I chat with other single persons next to me. But London is a different story. Here I do not need a reason to have myself with an accompany. Busy is the best excuse. So when I am busy, I do not bother to socialise. Then when free evenings and weekends come, I am kind of panic. Panic as I do not have any accompany. Even a phone call becomes difficult. Guilty that I did not bother to keep in touch when I am “busy”. So typical, the so-called “chun-chou”, frustration in the spring time. But not just for the Chinese. According to the documentary, Surviving Suicide, one in four people in the UK suffer from mental health problems. While obesity is easier to detect, depression is far from obvious. How much darkness secrets that you do not know about your closest friends or family? What a struggle it is to keep telling yourself you are not mad. Harry Potter’s popularity is a world phenomenon, yet in the UK, I guess there is another reason. The struggle of darkness of your own world extends from your childhood to adulthood. Even though I have never read the stories, I admire the process of her writing. The struggle against yourself, against the dark force inside you. Funny that I talk about these in a sunny day and with a good mood. The old saying is right, always remember the rainy days and be prepared. March 29 QuietSuddenly I have a very quiet weekend, no need to check the emails, and no need to go to the office. With all the time in my hand, I feel very strange. Indeed, I should have been studying now, but with exam date two months away, I cannot be bothered, typical laid back attitude.
Shanghai, once again, is a more capitalist and stylish city, with energy, talent and organisational skills.
Particularly the organisational skills. Afterall, strict ruling tradition has its advantage. While Heathrow T5 chaos becomes the coverage story here, the start of T2 in Shanghai is impressive. I was with Virgin the next day T2 opened. So much concern when I was on the way to the airport with the plan taking off in two hours, yet everything turned out very smooth. All the direction signs are up. More security staff in checking (although the security is more strict than Heathrow).
While my colleagues are surprised to see the high buildings, I am more impressed with the improvement that is more implicit. After more than two decades opening up to the world, I start to feel an influx of talents back to China, at all levels. It does not matter if they stay, but they help a lot to set up a proper market system and institutions.
For Sunday, I probably will be better end up in the UCL library to do some studying. Always get prepared for the raining days.
March 18 Monday nightFinally I started to enjoy Internet at home, but not sure if this is a good thing at the right time, as my study still has not moved much, if at all.
The market is down today. Bankers are weired animals. Pessimism is not absent, but the atmosphere is more funny than sad. I almost lose count of those funny emails about the volatile marekt. Hope the word volatile is the right word, as it implies going up and down, rather than the straight movement towards the bottom. Or are we at the bottom yet? Eye of the storm, a beautiful word, but foreseas the more severe to come.
Still I have to admit no matter how similar we regard the economies in the UK and US, the mother can always tell the difference of her twin children. While Northern Rock occupied the front pages of UK news papers for months and ended up being nationalised, the Bear Stern was taken over over night. Is the price fair? Probably not. Would the shareholders and investors in the UK agree to such takeover? Probably not. But market has its say, good or bad.
Now the concern of HSMP really starts. What if? A big question. Wish all the CEOs of banks do well and keep chapter 11 at bay. Hope lays on the newly appointed ones.
On the phone I was talking about Tibet, a true concern from me on current China situation. The media is more than hostile here. BBC Four is broadcasting a documentary of life in Tibet at the same time. The timing looks conspicious to me. Even though the programme itself is less political, the viewer's perspective will be skewed given the current situation. Think the issue from another angle. Why don't we view it an immigration problem? This time, the Chinese are the immigrants and the Tibetans the native. Surely the Chinese are not going to adopt Tibetan culture, so it has to be the other way around. Threat is the certain feeling for the natives, for Tibet, it is Chinese, for India, it is the western culture. When the consensus is all about preserving the tradition, I want to argue what is the point of preserving a culture that is hundreds of years lag behind. Surely thousands of people will stand up to give strong counter argument. But it is the same idea that we do not colone the natural species that are already distinct. We do not do that because what will the revived animal do in a place that it does not belong? It is the choice made by natural or human progress.
But of course, the issue is more than that and given my education background, it is hard to have a fair view. Or are there fair views at all? Everyone would argue he is fair. Just like my attitude towards work: I always feel I work too hard.
March 17 Back to normalAnother Sunday, but with all the anxiety gone for the coming Monday.
No reason, feel very happy. My highly skilled immigrant application is turned down. I cannot express how much I regretting not using a legal representative. Then I went to see a lawyer after my application is turned down. My goodness, the bill is expensive and to help apply for the new tier one will cost more money. Wish I have a lawyer friend. The old saying is true, you need a lawyer, an accountant and one mechanician to make your life easier.
Health makes difference. It makes you happy. After all the coughing winter, I cannot help waiting for the spring. A lot to study for the CFA level two. I have to pass it simply because I do not want to waste all the money for the exam and the books (already spent too much on the bloody lawyer fees). Then a lovely bubbly summer waiting ahead.
Still as ambitious as ever before. The newly added trouble is temptation. Intenet is great. TV service online is so good that I can watch all the good documentaries anytime I want during the week. But interests is interests, while there are more serious things waiting to be done.
Monday, a good start.
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