Life is not easy. I cannot remember how many times I cried during the first three weeks. When I accepted the offer, I know it is not going to be easy. But still when the pressure is on, it is not everyone that can keep cool.

 

After four weeks 7 day working schedule, I finally got one day off. Everything seems to be so lovely when I am not trapped in the office. For the juniors, the trap is both mentally and physically. For the senior people, it is probably more mentally. Life/work balance is hallucination. Rather than face the fact, I choose to wash away all the disappointment with tears. Then finally the realization moment comes. Stress is still there, but it seems that the capacity to deal with stress can grow.

 

Let us talk something more interesting. The only weekend off, I choose something special. Mid Autumn Festival is already gone, but I decide to celebrate it with A Moon for the Misbegotten, a play by O'Neill. The cast is strong with Kevin Spacey and Eve Best. The latter might be unheard, but her performance is really impressive in this production directed by Howard Davies. The play is not very easy to understand as I go there without any background reading and the actors are of strong American accent. So I did not catch too much on the theme between the battling between father and daughter. But the other themes of humanity, of love and forgiveness are all very touching. Different from the Shakespearean plays, the words are plain. The amazement of keeping audience attracted and involved is the development of plot. Dramatization reaches the level of Dickens, but not in thousands of pages, but in two and half hours play. The ending is so sad that I cannot help crying. No one died, although Jim Tyrone (Kevin Spacey) is dying from drinking. It would be a much better ending if he died. It is not death that is the solution that we are looking for. But it shines Eve as a goddess in this play as a rough, hard-working farmer, but inside, a strong, kind and loving woman. Death in this case would signify glory and pride of Eve. But Jim lives, and life goes on, just with more disappointment. Before this show Jane Eyre is the one that I admire, and now Eve Best is another American peer that shall live forever through the active theater and audience. You do not need to be an intellectual to be admired. Pride can have many different forms.

 

 

The acting of Kevin Spacey is great, but somehow I think this role is still in his comfort zone, not too much breakthrough. The scene of rape attempt means this play will not have a chance to go to center stage in China. But I really wish to introduce Eve Best to a wider audience in China. She is not active in movies. Her previous big roles include Macbeth and Mourning Becomes Electra. The second one is also by O'Neill, a four time Pulitzer prize winner. 

 

I hope I can read more plays by O'Neill. Most of his plays are very tragic and are based on his own family stories. It seems to me that life are always hard. It is just if you have enough courage to live this life and make a difference. It is not the reward that I am after, but to make sure the sufferings are meaningful, which indeed are in the case of O'Neill.

 

I did not manage to go to Covent Garden to see Stravinsky's program this evening. Rather I choose to be with friends. Thanks all for sending all the good wishes and encouragement. I am still keeping on fighting because all of your support.